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Come sit around the tavern table and grab yourself an ale
And listen with sadness in your hearts of a truly woeful tale
About a rat who left Freeport with lofty dreams
Of becoming Norrath’s scourge
But ended up as a limp-wristed mouse
Known as Scarletto the Wimpy Dirge

No dagger or cudgel that Scarletto could muster
Inflicted more damage than a pink feather duster
She practised her piercing, she worked on her slashing
Each and every week
She tried to create a blood curdling howl
But all that came out was a squeak

One day on a raid with her world-famous guild
They were down in a dungeon with ghouls to be killed
Scarletto was standing there, back from the mob
Debuffing and cautious of AOE danger
When Marok called out “Move in you n00b!”
You’re acting like that bloody Ranger

Within the grand guildhall, three Dirges did lodge
The maestros Goldentale, Ixthan and Rodge
Who with mirth in their eyes, were supportive and kind
Offering tips and being chummy
As they rezzed Scarletto to her feet
After a duel with the training room dummy

And so to this day Scarletto still does no damage
When the other bards /flex after DPS spammage
And buffs and debuffs at the back of the raid
Without a care for what anyone thinks
For after all the loot is shared
Someone still needs to carry the drinks.


This blog follows the trials and tribulations of Scarletto, the DPS challenged Dirge in EQ2.

It will cover significant events plus various observations about the game that I have from time to time.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Grackle permalink
    June 29, 2010 13:50

    That is a truely awesome epic ballad! Thanks for your strats! they kept me and my group up a few seconds longer =)

  2. July 15, 2010 12:54

    Awesome sute.
    Love the ballad and the raid stra info.
    Do you have a “Frozen Statue of the Ice Maiden” strat?

    Many thanks for making EQ2 better.

    Fenrook Foehammer.

    • Sullivan permalink
      July 16, 2010 19:51

      Golden has a FRAPs run of this on youtube if it helps at all


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